Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
