My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
a search helicopter?!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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