giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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