We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
