Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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