So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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