his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
