porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
