This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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