i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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