im having a threesome with these popsicles
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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