we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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