no. you can't hotbox the world.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
