For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I came so hard my ears popped.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
