And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
