just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
