Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
