White coat. Heels.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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