Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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