On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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