i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
