He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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