my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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