Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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