i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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