If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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