You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
