Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
