I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
