But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
