I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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