New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
