Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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