But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
