Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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