we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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