there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
