So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm bleeding and have questions
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
