i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think a kid would responsible me up
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
