sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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