is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
