3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You are the jesus of drinking
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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