i will never coherently bang her
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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