but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize