as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize