Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm always down for nudity.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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