There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
