Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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