everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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