Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
