help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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