Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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