Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
