i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
