why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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