it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
