Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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