im six kinds of drunk right now
you win again, gameday.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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