I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
