the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
