ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
