I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
