It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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