no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
