Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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