well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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